When dealing with the a man suffering from addiction it is helpful to remember that he suffers from a disease – or a sense of “dis-ease.”
You may have seen what a good person he can be inside and how much potential he has. You have seen him do wonderful and admirable acts of generosity.
The problem is that when the man is in the grasp of his addiction, it is hard to see these great qualities in him. Those who love him lose hope and the cycle begins again.
Imagine if a wonderful man was diagnosed with diabetes, heart disease or even something worse like cancer. Would he sit back and do nothing? Would you allow him to?
Sure he has times when he feels better and even believes his illness is gone. But as the illness progresses he has two choices: he can take the recommended medical action or he can do nothing and wait to die.
If this wonderful man who is afflicted with a life threatening disease chooses to do nothing, this is going to cause a great deal of stress and pain for those who love him.
If he simply refuses any form of medical help, this may force the loved ones to become so angry that they disconnect. This disconnection can range from closing off emotionally all the way to wanting nothing to do with him.
The loved ones disconnect to protect themselves from going through any more pain and anguish. The person that they love can of course do something but are not willing to do what it takes in order for them to have a higher quality of life or a even a cure.
Addiction - a Disease that Causes Dis-Ease
Although his physical illness can go into remission, he still has to participate in a wellness maintenance plan.
A diabetic man should not stop taking insulin or checking his blood levels because he is doing well. A man afflicted with heart disease may be required to remain on cholesterol drugs and the like.
The same consideration should be given to a man whom you care about. He is sick. Without help, his future is lost.
Those around the man can be in potential danger as well. His lack of desire to seek proper help will trigger much of the same feelings as those whose loved one doesn’t do what it takes to manage their medical condition(s).
Not everyone agrees with the disease or “dis-ease” concept. Many believe an addict can control their behavior with will power. In some cases, this may be true, such as if a man struggles temporarily and relies on substances to pull him through. Then when the situation is over he is back to “normal” or his old self.
Something to look out for, however, is how he deals with the next crisis. That may be an indicator that he has re-gained control. However, when it comes down to it, these bouts with substance abuse are not something to be ignored as they can have devastating repercussions.
copyright 2011 Elaine Baker Interventionist. All rights reserved
